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  • Writer's pictureMariana Carvalho

It is Not Your Job To Say No To Yourself

Unlock your inner potential by opening the door to self-acceptance and growth

Some of the most common phrases I hear from my mentees are:

"I am not suitable for that position".

"I don't have the necessary skills for that scholarship".

Or even worse: "I don't stand a chance with that opportunity".

Can you see what all these affirmations have in common?

They don’t trust themselves. They gave up. They gave up on their faith in their capabilities, and, more than anything: their potential to learn and grow.

Every time you doubt yourself, you drain your confidence. Whenever you doubt yourself, you diminish your potential to grow.

The fear of achieving something is only beneficial if followed by the desire to grow.

I recently came across this cartoon by PJ Milani, which represents what I described above.

I will give one example. When I studying for the Google Cloud Certification exam, I knew I didn't have all the skills to pass the exam. I had to study. I had to put the time in. I had to put myself out of my comfort zone to learn a product beyond my knowledge.

But it wasn't my job to say I wasn't capable of accomplishing that.

That’s the growth mindset you have to have in order to keep pushing. (I recommend you read the book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck“).

Another example: Many of my mentees don't apply for scholarships, conferences, or job positions because they don't believe they can pass the first interview. They are giving themselves rejection that hasn't even happened. They suffer for something that hasn't happened.

And the worst thing you can do is to suffer about things that haven't happened.

Send that resume. Apply for that scholarship at a university overseas. Submit the proposal for that international conference. Record that video in another language (even if you hate your accent). Do it.

It is not your job to say no to yourself. It is your job to invest in yourself. To trust yourself. And to trust the process.


Mariana Carvalho is a writer and career mentor, Latino 30 Under 30 2022 by El Mundo Boston magazine, Mentor of the Year 2023 by WomenTech Network, with over 12 years of professional experience, the last 7 in corporate America. Connect: Mentoring | Medium | LinkedIn | Instagram | Threads | Website

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